I was talking to my mama tonight on the phone as she was on her way to Utah to help Hann with wedding stuff. Spoiler Alert: Hann is engaged. Not sure if she will ever blog about it. We can dream…
Anyways- mom had mentioned that how in my life it seems that I do a great job of trying to plan things, and then usually some kind of curveball is thrown in there and I end up going with a plan last minute.
Mission- that was not planned and quite unexpected but as soon as I knew I should go, I just went.
TFA- what the? I never ever EVER EVER wanted to be a teacher. I just applied and they skipped me through all these interviews and I got the job.
College- I was accepted to Stanford, which was where I had been determined to go since I was 5 and Whitney Ovard told me it was the best school in the world. I (begrudgingly and against my will and encouraged by my mama) sent in my BYU application one of the last days it was available and was accepted the next day and ended up there in the fall! I can’t even imagine how life would be had that plan not changed.
What I’m trying to say is, God has a way of allowing me to do a lot of groundwork for a lot of different options and then all the sudden one path becomes the right one and I just have to take that one.
Admittedly, it was a characteristic that I somewhat resented for awhile. But, now I am beginning to see it as the blessing it truly is! My Father in Heaven is allowing me to develop patience in specific ways that are most meaningful to me. One of those ways may be revealing His will in a very “last-minute” sort of way, almost mocking my own tendency towards procrastination 🙂 The reason I have been thinking about the concept of patience so much lately is because I feel that I have reached a similar junction to so many prior life experiences. I honestly do not know what I am going to be doing in the next year, or really even next month. I know I am trying my best to listen and follow the guidance God gives me, and I know that just as in times before He will hear and answer my prayers and continue to turn my life into something more beautiful than I could ever imagine. But! Sometimes that guidance just does not come when I think it should or when I want it to! 🙂
I usually listen to church talks on the way to work in the mornings. One of my most recent favorites is a talk given by Elder Neal A. Maxwell at a BYU devotional in 1979 entitled, “Patience.” It is so beautifully delivered in the uniquely wonderful way Elder Maxwell had with words.
One of my favorite quotes is, “Patience is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe, rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance. Put another way, too much anxious opening of the oven door and the cake falls instead of rising. So it is with us. If we are always selfishly taking our temperature to see if we are happy, we will not be.”
I know that so often I want to be the one to change my own set of circumstances without realizing that God is requiring my patience. As I look back on this INSANE first year of teaching, had I taken a “temperature check” at any given interval, I most likely would have told you my life was crazy and I was stressed and particularly at the beginning of the year I was NOT happy. But when I stop to look back at the year in its entirety, and with the passage of time begin to understand the lessons God needed me to learn, all I can do is smile and the only feelings I have are those of contentment and joy and peace. I know that inner peace comes from consistent effort to be the person I am aiming to become and trying my best to have patience in the meantime 🙂
Ok- lots of rambling. Here are two favorite pictures from the past week!